!!!!! Health Scare !!!!!

NO it's not the Spine uhhhhhh, ..... Swine Flu ....  "Enfluenza Porcino"!  .... But I understand why you might think that.... that's all you see on the news these days, at least down here..... well here's what happened. Saturday night about 8:00 we are sitting on the couch and watching the boob tube.... and I start to get pain in my chest and back, down the left arm and start feeling sick to my stomach. (But of course I don't tell Carol.... don't want to alarm her) So I take something for the pain, and it doesn’t help! After an hour, and looking on the internet, and checking the symptoms for a heart attack, and foolishly waiting for some more time to pass, to see if it is going to go away ..... I tell Carol it's time to go to the hospital because I am having chest pain .... poor girl hadn't been getting good rest and then when she is about into the start of a good night's sleep, I go in and wake her up to tell her I think I may be having heart problems..... not a good way to start your evening of rest! So she gets dressed and we get a cab (I hear you ..... What? .... Why not call an ambulence) I can assure you the cab is faster. So we are in the cab and I direct the cabbie to the closest hospital, when we roll up to the joint it has in big letters "Trauma Center" Whew..... We’re in the right place! We get inside and the place looks like a battle zone. Blood all over the floor and people’ being wheeled around the place like there is no tomorrow. Then, I get to what might be considered a desk with about 4-5 persons that are filling out paperwork and taking information from different people and paperwork is getting mixed up and falling on the floor ..... What a disaster! At this point Carol is very scared and tells me we need to call one of the brothers in the congregation, so I do. I tell him what hospital we are at, and he asks me, why we are there, and that we should be at the clinic. I'm thinking the clinic? I maybe having a heart attack and he tells me we should be at the clinic.... what in the world? Then, he tells me he is on the way down to help us..... Well he shows up in no time .... As I have mentioned in the past they have no rules on the road down here so I'm guessing he drove as if he was an ambulance driver. He gets there and I am reasonably sure 45 minutes has gone by since we arrived ... and as of yet I have still not seen anybody to check on what is the situation with my ticker. Finally the brother gets aggressive and asks if someone is going to tend to me. So they wheel up a gurney and I get on it and they put me in an area that is partitioned off by curtains..... (Out of sight out of mind) nothing happens, so he again stirs the pot, and they send some one in to get me hooked up to an EKG machine, to see what the heart is doing.... (All the while, the pain is increasing) next the problem is, that the electrodes they use are something out of the 60-70's, little suction cups that they put on your (my) chest ... problem is, that with all he hair on my chest they can't get the suckers to stick! So I suggest they shave the areas on my chest.... the doctor in training says "that's a good idea", but the fact that she's a DOCTOR and won't do it, that's for someone lesser, to do (I'm not kidding) and that she will find someone else to do it ... about 5 minutes later they send in, what I suspect was a nurse, and after surveying the situation tells me she needs to go find a razor (still not kidding) she comes, and goes, a few times, and each time assures me she is looking for the razor, then tells me that it maybe a item that needs a prescription, ("a razor"?) 10 minutes goes by (pain still there) finally she walks in with? You guessed it.... a razor! But then starts wiping different areas of my chest and the areas are not the same areas that the doctor wiped, when she was originally trying to put the suckers on my chest the first time ... so I suggest to her that she may want to consult with "the Doctor" (in Training) to make sure she is doing it right. Finally the Doc comes in and points out the locations she wants the forest removed.... I'm thinking that if she had only done it herself, in the first place, we could have avoided this craziness. Finally they get the hair cut down, and then, the doc still can't get the things to stick, so she calls someone else in, and of course this guy gets them to stick on the first try, and they run the 10-second test! 1:30 minutes after we left the house, we get some results. NEGITIVE! Heart rhythm looks normal.... ("That's a Good Thing")  !!!!!! But I still have the pain!!!!!! Next thing you know Carol comes in and grabs me and says, "We are going to the Clinic"! 


"The Clinic" I'm thinking to myself..... The brother goes and gets the EKG print out and, 3-4 minutes later we roll up to the "Clinic" get put in a room and the Doctor comes in about 20 seconds later looks at the results of the EKG and says he doesn’t think I am having a heart attack or heart problems but would like to do a Heart "enzima" test.... this word "enzima", sounds exactly like the "ensima" which means in Spanish "the top of something" The top of my heart test? Well he's the doctor!  ... Enzima = "Enzyme" test ..... Duh! But it sounds exactly the same... even when we explain it to the brother that is with, us he shakes his head and says he understands why we thought what we thought. I don't feel so bad! (In my head) but I'm still hurting! Two "enzima" (enzyme) tests later confirm that I didn't, and I am not having a heart problem.... GOOD NEWS! 


But I am still in real pain.... so the doc talks to me and we figure out that I have some sort of back problem.... which I have had (but not like this) ever since I fell from the horse while in Nicaragua in March of 2008. (I'm not a bad rider, ... well I don't think I am... it's just that the stirrup broke, as I was trying to get the horse to stop running, and with all the force, when that stirrup broke, I went flying off the horse, head... over proverbial heel) I ended up with bruised ribs, toes, head, and other parts too. It took months to heal up, and once I did get healed up, I never got checked out by a chiropractor or anybody else for that matter. But I am sure I was still a bit tweaked.... and never had any follow up treatment for anything... Well with all the fun things thing we have had happen, and the stress of the entire move, I'm guessing the body finally said we are going to make you pay for not getting it fixed, after the tumble off the horse. Everything just locked up, and the area that the pain was centered and the different symptoms, I honestly thought "the big one" was hitting me. Lesson learned with this episode.... many, but the big one... call the brothers when you are in a pickle (Carol suggested that from the get go).... They know the ropes.... Turns out "Clinic" here means Hospital and Hospital means clinic or even something less! If I had been having a real Heart attack I probably would not be writing about this fun experience..... The brother told me that if you want to die? .... You go to the hospital.... the care is sooooooo poor that many do end up dying, due to the goofy lack of prompt help. 

Just another day in Ecuador! It's all good!